Cloning Captain Planet

Earth Day, mother truckers.

I have no idea how to celebrate this year. I’m probably just going to go to Whole Foods with my reusable bags, buy milk in glass bottles that I’ll inevitably shove beneath my sink, and feel smug.

I turned on “Captain Planet” for my kids. Next up? “Ferngully.” Obviously, I’m full of win.

They’re cloning locusts on “Captain Planet,” it’s essentially the grossest idea ever. Ok, maybe cloning politicians or Fox News Anchors would be worse, but locusts are close.

I may also venture to a used book store and purchase several hardcovers. Because, reduce, reuse, right? My daughter is contributing her part by not wearing clothes as to dirty them to require washing. She celebrates a naturalist lifestyle.

I’m pretty sure that most of us don’t do enough, but I think we should all try to do better.

I chastise myself every time I use paper plates, but buy an insane amount of iced teas when I go out. I do not have a reusable iced tea cup. I want one made of something other than plastic. Are the Dunkin reusable made with #7 plastic like the Starbucks ones are? I need to find a “hanging head in shame” gif. I am such a fecking hypocrite.

Smugness doesn’t require honesty or sincerity. Just look at the Kardashians.

So, I’ll make a list.

Ways I should improve my sucktastic carbon footprint.

1. use my hair towel more than once…I’m confident I can do this. Yes, I will spend a significant amount of time ruminating on what is growing on that towel, but a few colonies of bacteria is good for you, right? right. What if I just switch to washing my hair every other day? does that count?
2. buy more used books. I think this is quite selfless of me, really. I love the new-book smell, I’d be giving up a lot.
3. screw-top wine bottles. save the trees, people.
4. recycle everything I own. (ok, so mostly just recyclable cups, stuff like that.) I hope that awesome pair of distressed and bedazzled flares are coming back in style. I’ve held onto those puppies forever. SHUTUPTHEYREART.
5. Refill/exchange the empty sodastream canister I’ve had sitting in my closet for months. LaCroix is just so delicious. So simple. So easy. This is going to be hard.
6. quit freaking buying protein bars and cereal bars. Mine taste better anyway. Jeez Louise, I’m ashamed I’m even admitting that I’ve become this lazy. I think my saturnine attitude toward the blogging community at large has led me to rebelling by purchasing these things. OY. I’m much chagrined.

In fact, I think I’m going to make cereal/protein bars right now. TO HELL WITH TORPOR!! WITH YOUR POWERS COMBINED….I can get off my ass and bake. 

Oh yeah, I also made muffins.

Banana Godiva Muffins

Banana Godiva Muffins

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Cook Time: 18 minutes

Keywords: bake breakfast side snack dessert

Ingredients (20 muffins)

• 1/4 cup coconut oil
• 1 over-ripe banana
• 1/2 cup godiva dark chocolate liqueur
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 2 cups AP Flour
• 1 1/2 cups dark chocolate chips

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350F

whip together banana, oil, and sugar in a mixer on high

add eggs one at a time

turn mixer to low and stir in godiva

sift in dry ingredients

stir in chocolate chips

scoop evenly into muffin cups and bake approximately 15-18 minutes