Shark Surfing

Like most red-blooded Americans, I spent last night watching Sharknado 2. Who wouldn’t want to watch Ian Ziering and Tara Reid run about Manhattan while being nearly eaten by giant sea creatures? My initial wariness over the near-impossible plot-lines were quickly overshadowed by the utter glee that watching such a spectacle wrought within me. I can only compare my elation to that of a child getting their first taste of cotton candy at a fair. “What is this? It looks…strange. Ok, I’ll try it. WHY HAVE I EVER CONSUMED ANYTHING ELSE EVER????”

I may have cheered when the shark flew into the plane and ate Tara Reid’s hand. I cheered even louder when Ian Ziering found said hand at the end of the film, and rescued the ring from it. Ahh, romance. So sweet.

Watching this wonderful piece of American cinema has made me curious what other movies could be viewed with similar hope for mankind? If Finn could use his girlfriend’s rigored hand holding the gun she also lost, to shoot that evil fish, what can’t humanity do? Solve world hunger? Bring peace to Congress? ELIMINATE CAMEL TOE? The possibilities are endless.

I decided to scroll through my options on Netflix and see what I could find. I struck gold. Here are my top 5 pics, and I’ve even included one you can watch with your kids. Because, summer. (we can only watercolor and play soccer so much.)

Dino King

Tremors 2

An explosion of enormous man-eating worms. This time, we're the bait.

Gamera- Mystery Science Theatre 3000

A Japanese Horror movie. A crew of snarky Americans. This is movie trolling before Twitter.

Godzilla vs Mothra

Because you can never have too many giant, mythical creatures.

Sharknado

The Original. Ian (Finn) blowing up sharks all over the place. His first time being eaten by a shark. It's the first, it's EVERYTHING.

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I have a confession. My favorite movie snack is really unhealthy. Spicy almonds, dark chocolate M&Ms, red hots, and buttered popcorn all thrown together in a bowl. The calorie count huddles around 4986945867304. I can only blame myself. I started this in high school (when spicy peanuts was all that was available) and I’ve never switched anything more than the nuts.

It was time.

I made a recipe for kettle corn that hit most of the notes of the original mix, but with about 1/6 the calories.

Coconut Chipotle Kettle Corn — It’s a win.

Coconut-Chipotle Kettle Corn

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Cook Time: 10 minutes

Keywords: side snack vegan gluten-free kosher soy-free

Ingredients (12 cups)

• 1 cup popcorn kernels
• 4 tbsp coconut oil
• 1/4 cup white sugar
• 1 tsp chipotle powder
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp salt

Instructions

in a LARGE stockpot combine oil, sugar, spices, and salt on medium.

stir until dissolved

add in kernels

cover

as soon as you hear the first pop, start shaking every 10-15 seconds

when the popping slows to 1-2 seconds between pops, it’s done.